I'd rather be impaled by a unicorn than play fantasy sports.

Don't get me wrong, I am a sports fan. I have been a University of Utah football season ticket holder for the past 8 years. I love baseball, I watch the Olympics, and I have even stopped to watch a soccer match or two. I yell and scream and cheer when the game is exciting but I am not a trash talker. In fact I'm almost relieved that the BYU vs. Utah rivalry (scroll down three spots) is taking a break for a few years because in past years I would sometimes dread going to church and hearing the lip from all the diehard Cougars. As I stated earlier I am a Utah fan but I don't have any hard feelings toward BYU. I want to see all of Utah's colleges do well. I hate idiotic Utah fans just as much as I hate idiotic BYU and Utah State fans. That may be what makes me a poor fantasy sports player.

At least compared to the players I know. They seem to take great pride in winning but even greater pride in rubbing their victories in each others faces. The amount of trash talk that goes on within the couple leagues I have friends in is a major portion of the game for them. ESPN.com even has a couple articles committed to supplying fantasy sports trash talkers with "shut down lines." That just doesn't fit with my personality. I am more of a "let the outcome speak for itself" kind of guy. And because the outcome of my attempts to play fantasy sports have not been anything to write home about, there isn't much gratification for participating.  

Given my many time restraints I would just rather watch the game than try to figure out which players I should "play," which of my running backs is facing the weakest defense, or who has a "bye week." To spend even just a few minutes a day looking at a roster of athletes who I may or may not know anything about (likely the later) and try to predict their impact in an upcoming game is just not worth it to me. My buddies say that their appreciation of the game and their enjoyment of the sport has increased but they also drop $150.00 every year to participate and reap large payouts if they make the playoffs. If you read my earlier post on gambling you'll know where I stand on that issue.

When I was eight or nine, I remember watching my cousin Chad and one of his friends playing a fantasy baseball game that involved baseball cards and dodecahedron dice. It WAS like Dungeons and Dragons for sports fans (and I wrote this post before I found the meme). Not surprisingly I am not a big fan of role playing games either. Granted the stats were from the previous season but the idea was similar. They were playing a game using real players statistics and introducing an element of chance. I get the entertainment value in the processes of fantasy sports and I can see the enjoyment many people derive from participating, but it's just not for me. Bring on the unicorn.